Ever notice how it's the little things in life that amuse us so much? More to the point, ever notice how it's the silly little idiocies in life that amuse us more than anything else? Well, this is not as much ''the little blog that could'' as it is ''the blog that enjoys going up the down escalator in your local mall.'' Will it have anything of real importance? No, probably not. But enjoy the ride never the less!

 

I love nostalgia. Now that I'm finally old enough to indulge in it, I think it's great to think back to when times were simpler, cell phones were scarce and the size of bricks, and 80's fashions were...uh, well, not everything is meant to evoke nostalgia. Naturally, it comes as no surprise to anyone that entertainment is capitalizing on nostalgia. Tshirts sport "old school" games/shows/memes, classic movies from years ago are being "re-imagined" and the old kids shows we grew up with are being reborn. Not necessarily the released-on-DVD kind of rebirth either. This is something akin to Evangelion: Death & Rebirth, where after seeing it we're all sorely tempted to shout aloud, "Fuck all this for a lark, I'm going to the pub."

Of note is the resurrection of the Care Bears. I'll admit: I was a geek and watched the Care Bears as a kid. Though I confess I did want to see, if only once, what would happen if NoHeart finally captured and ate a Care Bear. Our room crew at Anime North '08 ended up watching an episode of Care Bears on the Monday morning before we checked out.

(See if this jogs your childhood memories: it was the one with the rich kid no one would play with, and NoHeart-as-Battlecat/fabulous-purple-tiger traps the Care Bears in the world's easiest maze...and still fails to eat even one of them despite them outnumbering him eight to one. You'd think statistically-speaking he should have managed to devour at least one. But I digress...)

Well, imagine my surprise when I strolled through the mall's Zellers store and encountered a "re-imagined" Care Bears DVD. Upon initial inspection of the DVD, I found a few points of note that started to raise the needle of my WTF-o-meter. First, the Care Bears were CG. Now I'm not against CG; how can I be when it's given us such glorious offerings as Advent Children and Pixar movies? However, it was disturbing to see the new CG Care Bears looking a little rounder, a little cuter and a lot younger.

In fact, the new Care Bears have a very distinctive look. Oh, how should I put it? Hmmmm...they look like they're pandering to the Loli crowd. Well, the Furry-Loli crowd, I guess, since they are anthropomorphic bears. But the truth is as I stared at the cover, I felt as if I should see Pedo-Bear lurking somewhere in the background.

And then we get to the coup de grace. They're not content on staying with the plethora of already established care Bears, oh no. They must introduce brand new Care Bears. And the one being featured on this DVD was none other than...Oopsie Bear.

Oopsie Bear?!

How the hell do you get an Oopsie Bear in Care-A-Lot? Everyone else has something related to either the word 'heart' or some positive trait we as people should endorse. But Oopsie Bear? That's not a name, that's a mistake Cheer Bear made when she got it on with Tenderheart one night.

Cheer Bear: "I'm pregnant."

Tenderheart: [stunned] "What? But how? I thought you were on the pill!"

Cheer Bear: "Um...oopsie?"



(Next bit o' nowhere will have my glorious Con memories displayed in all their pantsless splendour for you to gaze upon and despair, I promise. Especially the 'despair' part.)

Labels: the tragically comedic or comedically tragic tale of Oopsie bear

posted by Phillip at 6:53 PM